Over the last year I've been teaching Mummy Puss how to be noble. I rub her nose very gently and say “noble” in a deep voice three or four times. So far, it seems to be working.

This evening, Mum accused me of not being observant. It had to do with walnuts. She meant: I’m away with the fairies. Neither does she like me wandering around the house in my twenty six year old clothes which she has somehow seen fit to save.

As far as observation goes, I can say that there are at least three mums in this story and I know what each one looks like.

They are all tortoise-shells.

Evenso, I have resolved to be a little more descriptive.

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