There is a guy who walks round town called Cellphone. We call him that because of his endless, imaginary mobile phone conversations. For the last six or seven months Cellphone’s been quiet. Off the hook somewhere. Today he reappeared, and cut down a fig tree in Freyberg Park while no one was looking. Sam went to see the cops. But when you think about it, it’s natural that Cellphone should reappear just about now, as Toothbrush has cannily withdrawn into the background. Undoubtedly they work in tandem, a sort of deranged tag team.

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