According to Mum, I’m forty eight years old..

(which reminds me
a lot of people’s egos are different
but mine is the same)..

Mum says I have woken from a long sleep.

The last thing I remember, I’m twenty three and in love with Maria. That was for three months. After three months making love at least three times a day she should be pregnant. And what does the erstwhile robustly intelligent sexual being, who after all got us this far, know about contraceptives? Fuck them too.

And now I’m forty eight.

Meanwhile, 96% of the universe is unaccounted for. Gone missing. To explain this scientists have concocted ‘dark matter,’ or ‘phantom energy,’ or whatever. It may be hard to imagine how scientists can have misplaced 96% of the universe. But not for me. Scientists are incredibly stupid.

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